(52-46-3 against the spread this season)
By Danny Picard
BOSTON — I’m writing this as I’m watching Hannah Storm give the most insufferable ESPN feature story on Taylor Swift and the football fans who don’t want to keep hearing about her, hinting that there’s a diabolical level of sexism at play.
Jesus Christ.
There’s a label thrown on everyone these days. But believe it or not, Hannah, not everything is as complicated as you’d like to make it, in order to fulfill your progressive-minded fantasies.
The feature story was the single dumbest three minutes I’ve ever watched on ESPN. It was the ultimate “Look at me, Taylor” moment. Sorry, Hannah, Taylor isn’t going to invite you to the wedding. Sometimes (most of the time?), life is simple. As in, we just want to watch the fucking football game. That’s it. Nothing else.
Now, obviously, in the Super Bowl, we understand the non-football stars come out to play and that this game usually includes a whole lot of non-football noise. As football fans, we accept that. I mean, what other choice do we have? But on the Sundays prior to the Super Bowl, just leave us alone with all the non-football bullshit. Please.
And if you think that comment is sexist, I think you need to book an extra therapy session each week.
Anyways, here’s my quick pick for Super Bowl LVIII, after going 2-0 against the spread in the Conference Championships, and ensuring myself a winning season:
KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (+1.5) over San Francisco 49ers
-I wouldn’t be surprised if this was a one-point spread by kickoff, as people continue to bet the Chiefs. For most of the last two weeks, this spread was 2.5 points. Now, it’s 1.5. And I’m taking those 1.5 points as my official pick. My unofficial pick will be Kansas City moneyline, because I’m just not going to bet against Patrick Mahomes in this game. I’m also not going to bet against this Chiefs defense, which is as good as it’s ever been during Mahomes’ run the last five years. I think Kansas City’s defense keeps Brock Purdy in check, and the Chiefs win back-to-back Super Bowls. This was an easy pick for me, actually. And contrary to some of my jokes on my latest podcast, I don’t actually think the Chiefs’ win will have anything to do with the NFL fixing the game so that they can have their post-Super Bowl Taylor Swift moment. This pick is as simple as “don’t bet against Mahomes in the big one.” So, I won’t.
Follow Danny on instagram @DannyPicard.